When The Ashes Have Been Waiting

“While the dead don't care, the dead matter. The dead matter to the living.” Thomas Lynch, Funeral Director & Poet

When the Ashes Have Been Waiting

Choosing a final resting place, whether that is a cemetery or a heart-centered place, anchors the memories of your loved one and offers a shared place for family and friends to visit and gather.

Many of us know someone who would like to take another step forward with their loved one’s ashes, but don’t know where to begin. When a funeral has already taken place and a lot of time has passed, there can be new dynamics and questions that stop us from making the final plans. We want to honor them, and the people in other parts of their lives who loved them, too.

Unfortunately, confusion over what to do with ashes is how some urns have moved, over the course of years, from the mantlepiece to the back of a closet with some going on to be forgotten, left behind or lost.

There are wonderful options for cremains. Locally, there are two cemeteries with beautiful scatter gardens. For Veterans, the Massachusetts National Veterans Cemetery offers a grave-markers only cemetery that is very peaceful and cares for the grave in perpetiuity. Ashes can be divided into different sized scattering urns and given to family member for the ceremony, or to be brought to different, special locations. Jewelry and Parting Stones can be offered or requested. Ashes can become a reef, be cast out of an airplane, buried beneath a Redwood, mixed into wildflower seeds and left in the forest.

Ashes Conversation

This 90-minute conversation is appropriate for families who have already held a memorial or those who are looking to plan one.

We will begin with sharing wishes, needs and intentions for the person you are honoring. From there, we will talk about memorialization choices, ceremony or scattering plans and final services. I will provide a written summary of our conversation with a guide for resources and services to further explore, as suits each client’s individual needs.  

Investment: $300

Ceremony Planning and Coordination

There are many families with ashes at home who have never had a memorial, funeral or celebration of life. Often plans for these events were never set properly, and through the stages of grief and the passage of time the memorial didn’t materialize. Geographical distance, changes in family dynamics, confusion over scattering or burial location, are all common reasons for delaying and ultimately becoming stymied with the urn.

Ashes at home can interrupt the grieving process and it can keep our loved one’s life, legacy and memory from being memorialized. The passage of time can make a ceremony all that more poignant and special, to recognize that their memory lives on in retold jokes, lessons or love stories.  

There are many ways that a gathering can be both healing and honor a well lived life. Celebrations of life can bring joy and fond memories to the forefront of a memorial, and also carve out a time for acknowledging the loss and grief. Whether at home or at a venue with catering, or a private scattering ceremony – the tribute you have wanted to hold for you loved one is still possible.

For families who want to take our conversation and remove the responsibility of making the phone calls, following up on emails, researching locations, and comparing services this option covers that. My role is to handle all the details to coordinate the memorialization of your loved and their permanent resting place.

Investment: Packages vary, with third-parties billed at cost

Resources

A list of resources will be available soon. Please feel welcome to reach to me with any questions. I hope to help you on your journey of healing, peace and rest.